Grief and Wellness

Hey – how is everyone?

Today I am going to chat about two things… grief and wellness.

Friday marked the 3 year anniversary of my dad going to Heaven.  I’m not going to lie – I had my moments.  Grief is such a funny thing – there is no situation in which it is the same for any two people.  Even the experts don’t have it right with their typical stages of grief.  They missed one… the searing pain, both physically and emotionally that occurs when you lose someone.

It does happen.  It’s a real thing this… pain.  Nobody tells you about it though.  So, maybe it is just one of my stages of grief.

And… that searing pain somewhere along the line turned into a sting.

The funny thing is that I wouldn’t wish my dad back here because he is finally at peace.  He is healthy, and he is whole.  All of the things that he struggled with, inside and out, and gone.  Why would I not want him to have that?

I quit smoking shortly after my dad passed away – this October will be three years for me… and, in the interest of full disclosure, yes, I have tried to start back up again on multiple occasions, but I just couldn’t stomach it – literally, trying to smoke made me sick to my stomach.  Praise the Lord!  I miss it for sure, but it would never be the same.  Maybe I’ll talk about smoking some other time.  Anyway.

When the girls and I went to Montana when he got sick, I was already carrying an extra 20 pounds.  Then, when I quit smoking, the dreaded extra 30 came along.  Today, I am at n  60 pounds overweight.  I have a horrible pinched nerve in my back which makes it difficult to be active, though I am sure it is exacerbated by my weight.  I breathe heavy when going up and down stairs, get headaches, my body hurts, and I look horrible.  See for yourself…

photo

I hate pictures of myself… this one made me so upset which is why I am posting it.

My body is fat.

Tomorrow I am starting a new regime… Trim Healthy Mama.

If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to fire up my website again to post about it… accountability if you will :)

I John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

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