Unplanned Plans

I’m sure at some point, I may have mentioned how… controlled I was in my younger years.  I didn’t party, was serious to a fault, and had everything planned out with multiple contingency plans.  I actually was probably a bear to be around, if I do say so myself.

Thankfully, once I had kids, or rather, when I found out I was pregnant with my first, I began to realize how little control one has over things that happen.  You can have the best laid plans, but at the end of the day, you really aren’t in that much control.  Granted, we all have choices that we make, and we can either reap the reward, or pay the consequence, but when it comes to just… how life goes, you really have to figure that you don’t have it all figured out.

Sure, it is important to set goals, and work toward them – you don’t want to be lazy, or settle with mediocrity.  Ever.

I’ve been looking for work since last fall.  Things are tough, and I could see some things that were going to change, so I actively tried to get ahead of the game.  Nine months later… no real solid potential.  I’ve stressed out about it – got sucked into the “what-ifs”.  But, really?  that doesn’t get you anywhere.

You begin to realize that sometimes, it doesn’t matter how hard you try, things are just out of your control.  It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, it just “il est quel il est” (it is what it is).

I’ve scoured the ads, craigslist, off the beaten path places, submitted my resume a million times (ok, maybe not that many, but a lot), and nothing.  Then, out of the blue, I got a design job.  It wasn’t something I was looking or trying for, but there it was.

Isn’t that just how life goes?  It was as if God was saying “you know, that’s great your going that way, but, I need to remind you that I have it under control.  I have a plan”.

And, for now, its enough to know that I don’t have to have everything figured out.  I can peruse, plan, and think, but if it doesn’t go my way, I’m ok with that, too.  Because, I much rather follow God’s plan than my own.  There’s a much better reward, anyway.